i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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