I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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