Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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