O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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