And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
