a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She is in my trunk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
