Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
