Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
