We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
