i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
