That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
