He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
