i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he thought i was a dude.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
