Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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