Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
