Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize