If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
