Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
