Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
