I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
