I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
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