Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
