omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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