i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
