when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't put those talents on a resume
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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