We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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