Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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