We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
