We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
