Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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