THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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