one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
