what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
