Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
