Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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