You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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