i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
