i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize