I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
