I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
