dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
