Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
