Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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