But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
