butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
