Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize