I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize