Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
