I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
3pm strippers are depressing
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
