I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
