He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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