How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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