U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So squirting runs in the family.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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