well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
