got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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