dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
