how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize