Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
